We all have problems in life; either in our career, education, relationship or health. But instead of finding ways to fix them, we either think we are victims or ignore the problem altogether. When we play the victim card we think we suffer because of the factors we can't control. I keep hearing people say, "If I were born in the US, I would have been rich by now", "If I had rich parents, I would have landed in my dream university", "If I had a white skin tone, I would be dating my dream girl" and the list goes on and on. Let me be very clear, the world is at times unfair. We are unfortunately not living in a utopian world where everyone has an equal chance, hard work always pay-off or being a good person brings happiness/success. Inequality exists at every level, some people are naturally born with better circumstances than others and some are naturally gifted in some aspects than others, but that is not an excuse to play the victim card. The problem with playing the victim card is, the moment you think you are a victim of your circumstances, you are automatically giving away the power to change your current position. You yourself accept defeat without even fighting.
On the other hand, some people try to forget the problem completely and try to find happiness elsewhere by hanging out with friends, travelling, food and etc. The problem with finding happiness elsewhere is that the happiness you receive is short-lived and you again have to come back and face the harsh reality of your life. Always remember, you cannot overcome sadness with a constant dose of happiness. You will get stuck in an endless cycle of being happy for a while and then being sad and again trying to do something which makes you happy.
So, what is the solution for this? can't we really be happy? There are basically two ways to tackle this, First, let me suggest you a method followed by most who find happiness but this is not a great way to do this, that is coming to terms with your life. Accept the reality without complaining and be grateful for whatever you have, when you do that your sadness vanishes. For example, if you get stuck at a bad job be grateful that you have a job, how many graduates are protesting because they are jobless. Accept that you don't have what it takes to manifest your dreams and find dreams within your comfort zone. It will make you a quitter, but you don't really have to fight every battle and you can still find happiness by living a not so eventful life since happiness is subjective.
There is another way, the way taken by almost all great personalities you can think of, it is confronting your problems head-on. There is a simple mantra to solve all your problems and get just everything you want; when I realized that mantra and started to apply in my life, my life turned on its head.
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| Fig 1- The Eureka Moment |
"Nurture the roots, the tree will grow"
"Nurture the roots, the tree will grow" is the secret mantra. Sounds confusing? let me explain, in life for most problems the actual reason behind it is not very apparent. For example, if you got stuck in a miserable workplace, the problem is not your boss or workload, but your lack of confidence. You are not confident enough with your own talent and you are afraid that you won't find another job. So just do things that build your confidence: doing a professional certification, brushing your interview skills and etc. Once you build your confidence, you will find another great job.
But let me warn you, it is easier said than done. It is much easier to complain or seek happiness elsewhere than identifying the root causes of the problem and addressing them. It will definitely hurt when you face your problems head-on. You will have to confront all the inner demons that hold you back. You will realize that the majority of your failures are caused by you, and even start hating yourself for that. Eventually, when you are over it, you will find things that need to be improved to change your life. Once you make those changes, the results will give you real happiness that is worth all the interim pain.
When I applied that mantra in my life, the results were astounding. Now, five months after starting to apply, I weigh 17 Kg lesser than I used to be, elected as Vice President - Education of my Toastmasters club, doubled my salary at work and started "Master by Research" under a senior lecturer who had worked in all the big tech companies you could name like Google, Microsoft and etc. So my dear friends, next time when things didn't go your way, don't complain and don't search for happiness elsewhere. You need to realize that some of your roots are on shaky ground, just nurture your roots, the tree will grow.
When I applied that mantra in my life, the results were astounding. Now, five months after starting to apply, I weigh 17 Kg lesser than I used to be, elected as Vice President - Education of my Toastmasters club, doubled my salary at work and started "Master by Research" under a senior lecturer who had worked in all the big tech companies you could name like Google, Microsoft and etc. So my dear friends, next time when things didn't go your way, don't complain and don't search for happiness elsewhere. You need to realize that some of your roots are on shaky ground, just nurture your roots, the tree will grow.
